At school, success was a mark out of 20. Later it became job title, salary, promotion speed… Hardly is one milestone reached than the nagging thought returns: “I’m still behind X.” In coaching sessions I often hear: “Why them, not me?” Yet when inner dialogue shifts its lens – from others to self – strategy, calm and motivation realign.
In this article :
- Define your own success
- Diagnose the real source of anxiety
- What if I were in no hurry?
- Mini-roadmap to walk without comparison
1. What does “success” mean to me ?
Comparison assumes a shared metric: centimetres, points, KPIs… whereas careers follow winding footpaths, not a high-speed rail line.
Exercise : 65-year-old projection
* Who is at your party ?
* What are they thanking you for ?
* Which contribution makes you proud ?
Write down images, feelings, keywords – that is your personal terminus.
Once this inner North is clear, other people’s success becomes scenery, not your GPS.
2. “I absolutely must…” – where does the urgency come from ?
Behind many musts hides the belief: “Later will be too late.” Real deadline or unverified disaster scenario ?
- Which skills, network, resources do you already own ? (inventory → confidence)
- Is the timeline driven by your values… or social gaze ?
The sturdier your internal compass, the less the clock dictates your choices.
3. “If I weren’t in a hurry to succeed, what would I do ?”
This radical question :
- Switches from sprint mode ➝ flow mode
- Brings focus back to learning, collaboration, creativity
- Opens conversations: curiosity replaces competition
In my coaching practice this simple switch often triggers faster growth: energy feeds expertise, not anxiety.
4. 30-day zero comparison roadmap
- Week 1 – Audit
Every evening note 3 moments you compared yourself. Context ? Emotion ? - Week 2 – Redefinition
Rephrase those thoughts using your success definition. - Week 3 – Diversion
At each comparison spike switch to an action aligned with your heading (read, call a mentor…). - Week 4 – Share & Anchor
Explain your heading to a colleague or friend: verbalising strengthens commitment.
Tip: Unfollow your trigger feeds (LinkedIn, IG…) for 15 days. Return when your inner filter is tuned to inspiration, not comparison.
Want to dig deeper ?
The PCM® (Process Communication) assessment decodes your psychological needs, stress behaviours and the professional environment where you truly thrive.
⏩ Book a free discovery session and clarify your path without useless detours !