Most of us have felt sharp irritation during a meeting: irrelevant content, unprepared speakers, tense atmosphere—or simply the sense of “losing time”. In a previous post (From expert management to systemic management: the unavoidable leap to C-level) I stressed that senior leaders must stop relying solely on technical skills: they need a transversal view and must improve the organisational machine. Running effective meetings is a critical part of the machine.
We often polish the preliminaries (agenda, slides, minutes), yet neglect time & flow management. Adopting a time-structured approach can move your meetings to the next level.
Psychiatrist Eric Berne coined the concept of time structuring; below is a practical adaptation for business settings. Whether a 1-to-1, team sync or cross-function workshop, watching how participants “spend” collective time lets you adjust leadership style and drastically raise discussion quality.
1 | The six ways people “structure time” (Eric Berne)
Each person has mechanisms to fill time—and personal criteria to judge if it is well used or wasted. Berne identifies six modes:
| Mode | In a meeting | Leader’s focus |
|---|---|---|
| Withdrawal (mental retreat) | Body present, mind elsewhere. | Warm up at start; notice drop-outs mid-session. |
| Rituals | Predictable courtesies (“How are you?”). Can turn hollow. | Respect but time-box greeting phase. |
| Pastimes (small talk) | Light comments, off-topic chitchat. | Useful for social glue; curb excess drift. |
| Activities | Planned work that produces output. | Main goal of most meetings—yet don’t kill the human side. |
| Games | Subtle power plays, flattery, blame games. | Spot & defuse; restore sincerity. |
| Intimacy | Open, trustful exchange—rare at work. | Foster over time; yields stunning efficiency once trust is high. |
2 | Agenda & pacing: managing the transitions
A meeting’s purpose is to harness collective intelligence. As leader you steer both content (what / order) and temporal structure (when to shift modes). Pre-define objectives, sequence and timing—including the brief ritual/pastime warm-up. Tell participants up front: “We have two hours: 10 min market review, 10 min product status, 30 min solutions …”.
Reality is fluid; adjust on the fly and explain reallocations: “Topic A is deeper than expected; let’s give it 15 more minutes and move topic B to next week—OK?” Without this meta-navigation, discussions drift and frustration soars.
3 | Adopting the “meta view”
The meeting leader must be both inside the content and above it—simultaneously participant and observer. Coaches train hard to master this dual attention, timing sessions down to minutes. Try the same: prepare a flow chart (goal, points, success indicators) and keep one eye on the clock.
If you are bored or annoyed, flip to observer mode: * Which time mode dominates now? * Spot rituals, pastimes, potential games. * Decide how to recast or contribute.
“Being meta” means seeing yourself from the balcony while dancing on the floor.
Key takeaways
- Use Berne’s six modes to diagnose meeting dynamics.
- Plan and communicate time allocations; renegotiate openly.
- Maintain a meta-view to guide flow and climate.
- Switching modes with finesse turns meetings into productive arenas.
Further resources
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